yuki miaka

The writing in the sand
The words written on your face
All spell out memories
Neither you nor I can take
You want it all to be left behind
And I do not understand
Why would you want to leave that
All the things we’ve had
Are love was the most I’ve ever known
And all I’ve ever had

These years have been the happiest
We smiled more then ever
I’ll never forget the simple things
Like the color of your eyes
The way you walk down the road
The love you sent to me
And the way you took it back

These were the best times
You and I have had
The times me just laid there
Staring in each others eyes
The times when we forgot all words
And forgot what all to say
Even the fights
When in the end
All we could do was laugh and play

I want to tell you one thing
Before you leave forever
I’ve loved you this whole time
And I always will
Forever

?As you spin this web of deceit I realize there is no way to retreat.

Barely able to breath it’s impossible to conceive that every lie you told I believed.

Caught-up in this crazy design of confusion, your lack of truth brought life to this illusion.

Was it love that stole my trust?

Leading me to this path of foolishness, sown in the silk of ignorance and guilt,

Not wanting to feel the wrath of loneliness.

By your many eyes I’ve been hypnotized, brainwashed to the point of no return

Passion is your poison, and as it flows it burns.

Sanity hanging on by a thread while thoughts of you I strain to shed.

You left me cold, surviving on my blood, getting closer to my soul.

Leaving me encapsulated, almost mummified

Suffocating in this web…barely alive.

Forget his name, forget his face,
Forget his kiss and warm embrace.
Forget the time you spent together.
Forget it all he is gone forever.

Forget the fact that he once cared,
Forget the love that he once shared.
Forget his love that once was true,
Remember now there is someone new.

Forget you cried all night long,
Forget him when they play your song.
Forget how close you once were.
Remember how he chose her.

Forget you memorized the way he walked.
Forget the way that he talked.
Forget the times he made you mad.
Remember how he made you feel so sad.

Forget the thrills when he said, Hi!
Forget the times he made you cry.
Forget the way he said your name.
Remember now he is not the same.

Forget you saw him yesterday.
Forget his gentle and teasing way.
Forget the things you had planned to do.
Remember now he is not with you.

Forget the times that went so fast.
Forget it all it is in the past.
Forget he said, I’ll leave you never.
Remember now he is gone forever.

Forget the past that I once knew.
Forget it all leave it too.
Cause he no longer loves me…
..He loves you…

Abandoned, Agonized, Apathetic and Apart
Black becoming the color in my heart

Betrayed, Bleeding, Bitter and Broken
Violent cries being the only thing spoken

Calamity, Crushed, Confused and Cold
This pain inside, I can no longer withhold

Discouraged, Disheartened, Destroyed and Distressed
Suffering with the ache of true loves test

Exhausted, Emotionless, Embittered and Encased
Will the memories ever fade? Will they ever erase?

Frightened, Frantic, Falling and Forsaken
Body so weak, heart splintered and breaking

Grieving, Gloomy, Grumpy and Grim
No longer alive, no longer with him

Hopeless, Humiliated, Heartbroken and Hurting
Each breath I take my heart starts burning

Injured, Inconsolable, Isolate and Impatient
Please stop this pain, I no longer can take it

Jammed, Joyless, Jinxed and Jittery
His kiss and his touch will forever haunt me

Kaput, Klutzy, Kicked and Killed
Without his love, I have no will

Lonely, Lethargic, Lamenting and Low
The punch to my heart; an excruciating blow

Mourning, Mortified, Miserable and Mutilated
No longer feeling the happiness only he created

Nauseated, Nostalgic, Needful and Naive
My life has lead me down on my knees

Oppressed, Overwhelmed, Obsessed and Offended
Why can’t my heart understand it has ended?

Punctured, Petrified, Paralyzed and Pained
So much left unsaid, so much left unexplained

Quiet, Qualm, Queasy and Quavering
This pain cannot hide, my tears no longer waiting

Restless, Ruined, Ripped and Resent
He stole my soul without my consent

Saddened, Suffering, Shocked and Still
Dreams and hopes never to be fulfilled

Troubled, Tormented, Torn and Throbbing
Begging to stop this uncontrollable sobbing

Unhappy, Uncomfortable, Upset and Uneasy
Heart feeling empty, stomach so queasy

Violated, Vegetating, Vindictive and Vex
The only man I’ll ever love, has become my ex

Worried, Withdrawn, Wounded and Weak
Not able to be nourished, not able to speak

X friend, X lover, X hopes, X dreams
To get him back, I’d go through extremes

Yearning, Yelping, Yammer and Yelling
Will I make it through this day? There’s no telling

Zip, Zilch, Zapped and a Zero
I’m nothing to him, yet he’s still my hero….

A misty morgue…black roses lying at her feet like corpses burried deep within the ground… a lover passed on… tears fall with disbelief her holding his lifeless body in arms…sudden chill through her spine…a blured figure she watched as her loved spirit gathered the roses suddenly red they have become and full of life… soft and sheer they felt…him in saying I’ll always be with you… sudden breeze with a cold kiss ended her goodbye’s

I’ve given away my heart,
So it could be torn into pieces.
He left me with the feelings of betrayal and being forgotten.
I’m so in love, yet so alone, with two years thrown away.

Feeling his absense hurts the most.
My constant urge to call is almost taking over, while on the other side, my cycle of feelings starts with rage.
Slowly going into sadness, rage again, desperation, devastation, and finally denial.

Every morning I open my eyes to emptiness.
Seeing a long black hallway with nothing in between.
This so-called love has taken over my life leaving me distracted.

Days pass by and now my emotions are going crazy.
Leaving me no choice but to vomit.
To empty my pesimistic thoughts.
To stop thinking my life is over.
To stop my tears everynight from falling.
To stop feeling like my heart has shattered into fifty pieces.

The hardest part of moving on is the jealousy on top of all my misery.
But soon enough I’ll go to bed realizing I survived this struggle.
I need to escape my depression to continue breathing.
And regain my strength to love again.